Scary times

Oliver has had a very rough few days. His breathing is extremely labored and he's been on continuous oxygen since Wednesday. His circulation is poor and at times his hands and feet are ice cold with no capillary refill, a very ominous sign that things are starting to shut down. But right now they're pink and warm, so this symptom comes and goes. It's all very unpredictable, and we all know that he's one heck of a fighter.

He's only opened his eyes a few times in the past couple of days, but he's on a few medicines to increase his comfort, and they make him tired too. We haven't given up hope that he can overcome this, but we're still preparing ourselves for the inevitable and on Thursday his hospice nurse strongly suggested that we don't leave his side.

Chris and I have been sleeping on the floor in his bedroom each night, listening to his labored breathing and dreading each sporadic episode of apnea where he doesn't breathe at all. It's impossible to truly prepare for what we'll have to endure, and it makes it extra heartbreaking thinking about the possibility of him never meeting his little sister. We're living minute by minute right now.

We started him on an antibiotic yesterday, for no particular reason, we don't even know why he's taken such a sharp decline so quickly. We just want to give him the best chance possible. Meanwhile we're keeping him as comfy as possible with nonstop cuddles and kisses.