Monday, November 12, 2012

I hold him so tightly in my arms, trying to fathom how one day I won't have him here to cuddle. That thought is impossible, I cannot process it, it's like trying to imagine the extent of our vast universe. You can try, but your brain can't fully comprehend light years, like I can't comprehend a life without Oliver. It's too big, it's too much. He's right here with me, I'm staring at his sleeping face and can smell his sweet breath.

He's right here, in my arms.

How can he ever be "gone"?


  1. He will NEVER be "gone". He may not be in your arms but he will in your heart and in your soul and in every breath you breathe and every memory. He will be the sweetness of a dream and the twinkle in a smile. He will be the sunshine that warms you and the rainbow that you gaze longingly at. He will be there in every beautiful peaceful thing that brings you joy and comfort. Because that is what you are to Ollie. His joy, his comfort, his safe place and his heart. There is nothing in this world or the next that is strong to cause that to break. Thinking of you both and sending you all my love

  2. Oh Mama you will always carry him in your heart. It is so hard and I can't even pretend to offer you advice because if I were in your shoes I know I wouldn't be as strong as you. But enjoy the moment push the thoughts of Ollie not being here to "the back of the bus" it will always be in the periphery of your mind but focus on the here and the now . You are doing the best you can, breath that sweet baby breathe and remember those moments for the rest of your days.